OK... First off I'm not writing this to get attention. Second I'm not trying to write a "oh pity me" entry, nor a rant. I just need to get all this shit out. so if you don't want to read my drama stop now. So any way, life has not gone the way Id had hoped it would. I am no longer able to go to collage, wont go into detail. cant find a job so save my F-ing life. found out I tore my ligament in my ankle, been going through therapy. my aunt is pushing the letter on getting me kicked out of my mums  house. my younger brother thinks I'm a total ass because I try to help him with shit he doesn't understand. my mum thinks I sit on my ass all day doing absolutely nothing. They all treat me like shit, and I have no way to get a way from it all. my ruptured disc in my back is acting up. somethings wrong with my shoulder. my anxiety has gotten so bad that I can hardly go to F-ing walmart. my computer is a piece of shit. half my wardrobe no longer fits me, the other half is old worn out hand me down shit. my depression is getting the better of me, Ive been crying my eyes out for three days strait and I'm actually googling possible ways to quickly and cleanly end my life. I am a pathetic piece of shit... why you all are following me is beyond my comprehension. My art sucks, my life sucks, my family sucks, and last of all I suck. If you've read it this far you have wasted your valuable time. If you have read it this far you either have nothing better to do or you actually care for my well being. if so you are again wasting your valuable time, and I am sorry for that. everything I have ever dreamed my life would be has be flushed down lives ever swirling toilet. all my friends have abandoned me. none of them care to call, text, e-mail or even F-ing facebook me. I was the one who was always there for them, the one who never judged them, the one who held them as they cried because of family issues, the one who was always loyal. now I am alone with no one there to hold me as I cry. no one there to offer a safe haven from the world that seems to be pitted against me. my problems may seem trivial to you, but its my whole life that's F-ed up. I have no refuge from this never ending strife. Death just seems to be the only solution to this shit hole of a problem I call my life. and every word spoken against me, every new problem that arises, and every pain I feel seems to be pushing me closer and closer to the End...